Translation from corporate doublespeak to English of selected portions of Dan Gaydou’s MLive Media Group announcement
From: http://blog.mlive.com/updates/2011/11/letter_from_our_publisher_anno.html
I am writing to inform you of some important changes to our print and digital news services, which will affect the way we do business in your community and communities around Michigan.
tl;dr: Your favorite local newspaper is dead.
We have plans to pursue a fresh, innovative approach to news delivery that we believe will strengthen our ability to provide news and information to you.
Our executives believe traditional news-gathering and editorial is no longer important.
We are announcing today that we are launching a new company, the MLive Media Group, which will provide all content and sales operations for MLive.com and all our local newspapers in Michigan.
We’re grasping at straws.
This new company will be driven by innovation and community engagement
Trolls will continue to roam MLive freely.
The 24-hour news cycle and the proliferation of digital, mobile, and social media is revolutionizing the way we do business
We want to be more like FOX News and CNN.
Our new structure will allow us to innovate and compete in an overwhelmingly digital age.
Massive layoffs.
We will be able to empower our employees with the best tools available to serve our customers.
We’ll continue to give our reporters Android phones and ten-year-old PCs.
We will be more equipped to partner with our advertisers and help them reach their core audiences with new tools and services.
If you think the ads on MLive are bad now, just wait.
Our audience-first model means that we will be realigning more resources behind our Web properties
We think our commenters are great.
Existing print newspapers will continue to be an important part of our MLive Media Group’s portfolio of news products.
We’re shutting down this part of the business as fast as we possibly can.
Even with a reduced schedule, home delivered editions will be enhanced to deliver 7 days of TV listings, puzzles, comics and other important features.
Nobody in our corporate office has ever read Bill Watterson’s essays in the ‘Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book’.
Each community in Michigan is different and, each of our papers has its own unique voice.
Advance Publications forces us to use the exact same cruddy Moveable Type website templates as all of its newspapers.
“Community” is as much about sharing information as it is about reading what’s going on in the neighborhoods around you.
We think our commenters are great.
In research we’ve commissioned recently, you’ve told us that MLive.com should be more engaging. We’re working on that.
We’re ignoring the tidal wave of complaints about comments.
We’re changing every day, innovating and moving forward to become a more engaging, dynamic, digital news organization.
Massive layoffs.
We will push ourselves to provide the best value for our customers and advertisers while we look out for the best interests of our communities and readers we serve.
We care about advertisers and marketers, not you.
This is not the end of an era.
This is the end of an era.
All of us at the MLive Media Group appreciate your support.
Our executives are looking forward to their Christmas bonuses.